Why I’m never depending on another human being ever again

My friend once told me that I’m the only person I’m guaranteed to spend the rest of my life with so I have to do what makes me happy and do what I approved of. It would’ve been good advice if I wasn’t depressed, but I was that day and I just remember thinking “Other people are the only reason I’m here, so if I play by that rule, I’d be dead.” And just thought that was the most bullshit thing I had ever heard so I ignored it.

Since then, I have found myself in a circumstance Continue reading

24 Hour Sobriety Break

I had been sober since December. I had been sober for 190 days. For the past few weeks, I had been having a lot of triggers; friends drinking, stress from school, and the fact that it is common for writers to drink. My birthday was Saturday. I made the well-thought-out decision to put my sobriety on pause and drink for the day. I knew there were risks, and that’s why I talked to my counsellor the day before and told my friend to watch me and not let me go overboard.

When I went into the liquor store Friday afternoon, I had a mini anxiety attack. My vision Continue reading

Anxiety Technique: Exposure

We naturally want to avoid the things or situations that make us anxious and/or uncomfortable. However, “the big problem with avoidance is that it keeps anxiety alive and well” (Roberts, Sylvia, & Reilly-Harrington, 2014).

I never avoid things/situations that make me anxious because I know if I do, I will sink Continue reading

Anxiety Technique: Keeping an Anxiety Diary

Keeping an anxiety diary is important in a few ways. It can help with seeing your progress and how far you’ve come. It can also help as a reference to see how you’ve handled similar situations before. Also, you will be able to see if your anxiety is getting worse. That way, you can make changes to your lifestyle if you want.

To do this, make up a chart (or use mine that I attached) and include date Continue reading

Anxiety Technique: Medication

I used to hate putting stuff in my body. I used to have anxiety taking anxiety medication. When I was in grade 11, I went on an daily antidepressant/anxiety medication. I hated it. I would go on and off it. Forget to take it for days or even weeks. I hated taking it daily. It was just horrible. I used to be 100% against medication. That was just me. I can’t really explain it.

So if you don’t want to go on daily anxiety medication, me, out Continue reading

Anxiety Technique: Exercise

I started exercising a few weeks ago and it’s been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I feel so good physically AND emotionally. It really helps with my anxiety and stress, as well as frustration. I hit the gym whenever I can. There has been a few times these past few weeks where I went because I was struggling with some anxiety/frustration problem. I just thought “screw this. I’m going to the gym.”

It is widely believed that it actually does help us emotionally. I never believed that until I tried it. One day, I just decided I wanted to start exercising to see if it’s true. And it is! There’s something about putting in my earphones and just going at it. I have about a hour long workout playlist and I don’t stop til the music stops. Btw, Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato are really good workout music.

It actually helps and I strongly recommend it. I’m getting stronger physically and emotionally. Also, It’s a good way to let off some steam. AND It also makes me feel good about myself. I love breaking a sweat. It means I’m doing something right.

“Just because you’re clean, don’t mean you don’t miss it.” – Taylor Swift

I wrote a post back in late October about staying sober. It wasn’t that I had an addiction, in fact, I was far from one. I rarely drank. Maybe once a week or two weeks. But when I did, I drank to get drunk, and when I was drunk, I would have a big breakdown and I couldn’t control my emotions for nothing. So I decided to actively stay sober.

I did have a drink a few times between November and December. But today, Continue reading