2015 is finally here. 2014 was so long and draining. I think it’s safe to say it’s been one of the shittiest years ever, with a few exceptional moments.
I think it’s important to take a look back at the good times and achievements, no matter if it’s just a few or a lot. When you look back at your achievements, you can see how far you’ve come, be proud of what you did, and move forward and make new goals. So I decided to do Demi’s goal for the day* that was for December 31st and share it with you. So here we go:
- I started going to “respite care” which is an apartment where people with disabilities can go for a weekend or a week (we have to book in advance) to get away from their parent’s house and live independently. It is fully accessible and they have staff there in the office 24/7 who can help me with anything I need, although I do most things myself.
- I finished my first year of college with very good marks.
- I threw out stuff from my past and got over something I never thought I would.
- Took four professional writing courses in the summer and got a certificate for it.
- Volunteered at a kid’s day camp in the summer for 3 weeks, 8 hours a day.
- Applied for Journalism and am starting in January.
- I got to meet one of my inspirations and one of the most amazing people I know of, Demi Lovato. It was really a life changing moment. I made a promise to her to stay strong and never give up.
- I started this blog.
- I had some amazing times with friends that I will never forget.
- I learned the true meaning of friendship from the friends who will always be there for me, for better or worse, and vice versa.
- I decided to try and not drink anymore, unless I’m in a really good mood and it’s strictly just a “social drink”, if that. And I’ve been doing really well with that.
- I used to have a strong guard up when it came to guys because of past experiences. I would not even talk to guys and if my friend brought one around, I would either leave or bury my face. I was able to lower that guard, even though I had to take a lot of baby steps. Now I have a guy friend who I’m totally comfortable with.
- Been proactive and educating myself more on mental health, so I can better myself and understand and help my friends better.
- I went through a lot of depression, I was depressed for most of the year. I had quite a few major breakdowns. I went through periods of times where I fell so deep into depression that I don’t know how I made it out alive, or even able to smile today. I consider it an accomplishment because I was able to stay strong through it and I’m smiling today.
- I reached out to an older adult when I finally threw my hands in the air and said “I need serious help,” which lead to me getting professional help. It definitely wasn’t easy so I’m proud of myself for that.
- Strangers have reached out to me for help and I was able to help them.
- Joined Demi’s club and have gotten to know a lot of amazing people.
A mantra or a saying is, believe it or not, a great motivator. I remember I used to look in the mirror every day, point to myself and fiercely said out loud “You are beautiful and strong. Don’t give up. You can do this.” I’m not saying it cured me and magically made me very happy. But it was a great motivator. I didn’t believe my own words at first but eventually I did and when I did, it became much easier to say.
So as the goal for January 1st, I came up with the mantra “Believe in yourself. You are strong and you are beautiful. Now let me see that smile.” It’s perfect. I added that last part because smiling helps me feel more strong and powerful. I will try to remember to say it every time I pass by a mirror. And write it everywhere.
Goals are important. It always makes life so much more worth it. Trust me, if I had no goals then I wouldn’t find much joy in life. Goals give you something to live for. I mean, if you had no goals, what would be the purpose of life? Just to eat, work, sleep every day with no direction or possibility of being the best you can be? I doubt that. We need goals to be able to live life to the fullest. Unless your idea of living life to the fullest is partying, drugs and sex. If it is, feel free to close this page. I’m talking about living life to the fullest in a healthy, mature way. I decided to write a list of my goals and share it with you.
- Save money and use credit card less.
- Meet Demi again.
- Get one of my articles in the school newspaper.
- Post more on this blog, and get more views.
- Take care of myself.
- Stay on medication.
- Do my best in school.
- Make more friends.
- Keep negative people away.
- Get an article published.
- Be more independent when it comes to my mental health; don’t rely on others to help me all the time.
- Don’t relapse then keep acting on it (basically, it’s ok to slip up but then don’t get into the habit of doing whatever I did).
- Try my best to stay positive and try not to fall into deep depression again.
- Get a new wheelchair.
- Become a step closer to living on my own.
- Become a pro in helping my friends, keep learning and paying close attention to what they need. But also understand that I’m not superwoman.
- Meditate more.
- Meet a Lovatic.
- Travel somewhere.
- Spend a night in Toronto/Niagara Falls a few times.
- Have my first kiss (doubt it).
- Keep doing the daily diary and CBT.
- Stick to my safety plans.
- Participate in something at the school.
- Go to a pub night.
- Allow myself time to relax.
- Treat myself to things as much as possible.
- Do what makes me happy and better.
- Get over a fear.
- Do something out of my comfort zone.
- Try and make more decisions myself, don’t ask for opinions on everything, and don’t always check with someone before acting.
In this post, I also want to thank the people that are in my life, for being there for me and for just simply being awesome.
The first one I have known for about a year and a half. It’s crazy because I feel like I’ve known you forever. We’ve been through bad times and good times together. Thank you for being my friend through better or for worse. Thank you for knowing when to be serious and when it’s ok to just let loose and have fun. Thank you for staying by my side during rough times, even when it was hard for you too. Thank you for believing in me and for never giving up on me, like I believe in you and will never give up on you. Thank you for making me laugh and always making sure I’m having a good time when I’m with you. Thank you for our two people dance parties. Thank you for the times where we’ve escaped and forgot about the world and our problems. Thank you for listening to me and always knowing what to say. Thank you for never judging me but also being honest with me when there’s something needed to be said. I am so lucky to have a friend like you. I love you girly. May 2015 bring tons of more good times. With less alcohol hahaha 😉
Now the next person I’ve already thanked countless times, but I feel the need to do it again. Thank you for always being there for me, especially the past couple of months. You were there when I needed someone. I felt a relief that night when I first reached out to you. Thank you for willing to help me right away. Thank you for getting me on the right track. Thank you for never judging me. Thank you letting me talk, then giving your honest opinion, even though I may not agree at the time. We’ve had a couple of small arguments but I know you’re just trying to help and thank you for that. Thank you for your time. Thank you for being such an inspiration, which you are and you have to believe me when I say that. Thank you for trusting me and sharing bits and pieces of your story. It shows me how strong you are and how strong I can be. Thank you for making me laugh and holding my hand. Thank you for our good times together throughout the years. Thank you for reconnecting with me after high school and thank you for sticking by me. I am so glad you are still in my life. Thank you for believing in me, like I believe in you.
To the guy friend that I mentioned near the beginning of my post, thank you for simply not being an asshole hahaha. Thank you for being a genuinely, nice guy. It’s refreshing hahaha. Thank you for making me feel comfortable with you. And thank you for your hilarious snapchats, especially when a laugh is much needed.
Thank you to all the Lovatics that I have gotten to know this past year. You guys are amazing. You guys are such warriors and that’s something we all have in common, along with our love for Demi. It’s an honor to be a part of such an incredible fan base. The Amazon wish list thing we did brought tears to my eyes because it just shows how amazingly close we are, even though we’ve never met. The amount of support I get from people who I have never met before is unbelievable. I don’t know where I would be without you guys and Demi. I will treasure this connection always. I hope to meet some of you one day.
Thank you to Demi Lovato for being such an inspiration. Thank you for not only helping me, but helping millions of other people. You are probably one of the kindest, sweetest people I have ever met and I only had a minute with you. Thank you for letting me wrap my pinky around yours and for wrapping your arms around me. Thank you for your music. Your music is not only amazing, but it makes me smile, helps me sleep, and makes me calm down. Thank you for your speeches that inspire me even more each time I hear a different one. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you for motivating me to stay strong and keep going. Thank you for making me smile and laugh. And thank you for showing us that there’s more to our lives than our mental illnesses and we can overcome and achieve anything.
So now I just want to say to whoever is reading this, that I hope this year is a good year for you. I hope good things happen for you. Below I’m going to type up a few things for you to do/think about. I’m going to start putting different one at the end of each post. Do me a favour and actually do it/think about it. If you feel comfortable, post your responses in the comments on the link to this post on facebook/Lovato.club/wherever you’re getting this from.
- Make a list of all that you achieved in 2014
- Create your own mantra
- Make a list of your own goals
Stay Strong Lovelies <3