I am about to start Journalism in January and I am very excited about it. I’ve always known that I’m a good writer and been known to be a good writer. I remember sending emails to my aunt and it would have near perfect grammar and spelling (I don’t know how good I’ll be in this because I’m feeling lazy these days). It would be very well written. I would use a lot of descriptive words and it sounded like a narration of a movie, even though it was just supposed to be a simple description of my day. It just came naturally too. She always said I should go into Journalism. I always shook my head because I hated the idea. Truth was; I HATED writing, even though I was good at it.
I started the Child and Youth Worker program at my local college September 2013. I had, and will always have a passion for kids and helping them be the best they can be. One of my goals in life is to be a role model for a child or young adult, whether it’s my own child or one of my friend’s children. But after my first year, I knew this wasn’t the right program for me. I was actually TOLD that it wasn’t the right program for me. I was told that I could not do placement, because of my limitations and because they thought I wouldn’t be able to protect myself in a violent situation. Still, when second year came around, I decided to stick with the program because that’s just what I wanted to do and I didn’t know where else I would belong. I didn’t do placement though. I just took the classes, and a few other electives, which would’ve gotten me nowhere after I was done school.
I woke up one morning in October and I made a really impulsive decision, which ended up turning out to be one of my best decisions. I applied for Journalism. I got accepted right away and accepted my offer for January start of Journalism. I filled out the papers to withdraw from the Child and Youth Worker Program, starting after that current term. It all happened within four days. It was crazy and I could not believe it. I am so excited to start after the winter break.
Switching programs was not easy. I had to finish the current term I was in because I had already paid for it and I wasn’t going to get a refund. My parents didn’t let me drop out in the middle of the term either. Let’s just say doing the work for a program that I wasn’t going to continue, on top of my depression at the time and lack of motivation to do anything, was pretty much hell.
How did I go from absolutely hating the idea of going into that program and writing, to having a passion for writing/media and being a soon to be Journalism student? 3 things…
- Writing is the one way I am 100% capable of doing anything and there is no restrictions or limitations because I’m in a wheelchair and have a bit of a speech impairment. This is something I can actually succeed in, in the long run.
- I took a few professional writing courses in the summer. And I loved it. That’s when I really fell in love with writing.
- My best friend has been in Journalism for a year and a half. I met her at orientation last year. I hang out with her and the other Journalism students a lot. I’ve seen them work and “do their thing”. I became interested in watching and learning from them. I loved helping them with assignments; being interviewed and sharing my opinion on topics for the newspaper. I got involved as much as I could and always secretly wished I was “one of them”, wishing I was in their program instead of mine. I was just more interested in Journalism than my own program and just knew I had to make the switch.
Despite being so excited, I almost reconsidered starting it in January. I got severely depressed at the end of November. I stopped going to school (finished the term by doing the work at home) and I lost all my motivation to do anything, even to get out of bed in the morning. I thought it would be impossible to start a program, especially one that requires a lot of time, effort, and confidence, when I was so emotionally unwell and exhausted. I thought it would be too much for me to stick to my treatment plan and get better, and be a Journalism student at the same time. But I was sure that was just the depression talking and I decided, no matter what, that I am going to start in January. It’s not going to be easy, and I will certainly be exhausted from school, homework, and working on my mental health but I am up for the challenge. I decided to push myself because I know that the program will give me a sense of belonging and happiness. And a reason to believe in myself and to believe that I am worth something.
It’s definitely been a long road figuring out that this is what I want to do and then getting here. But I’m happy that it’s finally almost here. I am so excited. I will get to meet new people and work with them, which is a little out of my comfort zone but I like the challenge. I will get to interview people and write stories that could potentially be in the school newspaper. I get to work in the media labs and newsroom. I’m excited to learn new things and find out how much I am capable of doing. I feel like I will be the most prepared first year student ever because I have already witnessed a lot of things by being friends with the people who are in the program already and knowing what to expect and when to expect it. Well I know to expect homework overload, little free time, and sleepless nights! Yay me! I sure hope it’s not as bad as I think and I hope I will get to work in a positive environment. And one of the teachers already loves me.
2015 will be a huge brand new start for me. A year of starting over.
Messages of this post:
1. Don’t rush in figuring out what you want to do. Some people know exactly what they want to do and some people don’t, or in my case, think they do but end up changing their mind. Don’t rush! Take your time.
2. Don’t just stick to something because you think that it’s the easy way out or think it’s easier because it’s what your used to. Change is hard, but most of the time, it’s worth it and ends up changing your life for the better.
3. Don’t give up on your dreams, no matter how hard it is or how long it’s taking to get there.
Stay strong lovelies <3